Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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