I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize