Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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