if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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