hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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