I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
