whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
