I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
