Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize