So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
