Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
