sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
