she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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