is your mom at the bar?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
