and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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