Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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