You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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