Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
is wine microwaveable?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
