Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
