he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
