Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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