I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
