Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
