Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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