Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
