There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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