my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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