dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
