ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
