did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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