I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
