taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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