After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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