My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
