Screwed.edu
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
