I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
This is not my ceiling
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
