Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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