That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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