I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
