Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
