Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
