I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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