...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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