Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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