is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
