Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im holly from the hills drunk
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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