Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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