it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
well you can't waste a boner
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
