if i can run in heels then i can drive
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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