Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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