Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize