so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
