I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
