In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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