I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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