i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
