East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
pop tarts are not kleenex
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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