You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize