Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
