I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
