You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Houston, we have a blender
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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