i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just gargled with NyQuil
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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