now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
