I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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